By John Sloop (@NCAMookie), staff writer.
Like everyone else, I just finished spending a lot of time celebrating the holidays, drinking with family and watching a lot of soccer. Unlike a lot of you, I also went to see the film “Cats” during the holidays. (Well, OK, I went to see a portion of “Cats.” I walked out early).
Having seen “Cats” during a period in which I was also watching what I thought was a great deal of horrific usage of VAR, I couldn’t help but juxtapose the two. So, in place of my normal column, I offer you two short lists. The first is a list of reasons why VAR sucks even more than “Cats” and the second is a list of awful items that are still better than VAR.
1. Reasons “Cats” Is Better Than VAR
You can walk out on “Cats” as soon as you realize it sucks.
Unlike VAR, there are moments during “Cats” when you will find yourself strangely and uncomfortably titillated.
The weirdness of Judi Dench licking her cat butt. It’s not a pleasant sight, but it’s one of those things that is so unbelievable that you at least get lost contemplating where we are as a culture.
The Rum Tum Tugger. Even badly performed, that particular cat is a badass.
While I think the answer is ultimately no, you find yourself asking, “Can we turn this into a Rocky Horror type thing?” And that time contemplating is far better than VAR.
If you complain about “Cats,” and call it the “worst thing ever,” there’s no douchebag who rushes in to defend it, as happens with VAR (see, e.g., my editor).
You don’t have to watch "Cats" from 15 different angles and in slow motion to know it sucks.
Some very likeable and worthy people got a payday off of it. By definition, the people involved in VAR are not worthy.
“Cats” is only horribly bad once.
2. Sucky Things That Are Still Better Than VAR
Talking about Arsenal with Andy Simmons
The How I Met Your Mother series finale
Holiday family gatherings
Listening to Davey explain the meaning of "Going Full Shepherd" to Nashville SC General Manager Mike Jacobs
The Big Bang Theory
Having Ben Wright edit your writing
Soccer jersey leaks